"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
You offer it to me freely…..
OUR COUCH IS GONE
THE COFFEE TABLE IS GONE
MY BED IS GONE
THE FURNITURE IS SLOWLY DISAPPEARING AND TOMORROW GABBY AND DREW AND THE CAT ARE DISAPPEARING AND I AM SADS
but now is the greatest time of furniture finds in oakland
tammy and i will emerge bigger and better and more victorious in our furniture than ever before
i have the belongings of literally half a dozen people that are not me in my bedroom
not sure how my room became a hub for everyone to party/leave their crap in, but i guess i’m ok with it
Okay picture the most stoic character you know
Now picture them on the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disneyland while wearing Mickey Mouse ears and sitting next to the most happy-go-lucky character you know
Crows are scary
- use tools
- Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
- Have huge brains for birds
- like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
- They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
- they are scary smart at solving puzzles
- some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
- they can remember faces
- SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
- They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
Also, if you harass, attack, or scare a crow or crows. They will remember you FOR LIFE. Yes, for life. They don’t give a shit you if threw a rock at them when you were 8. They will remember you forever. I’m glad crows aren’t around where I live. *phew*
I love crows so much
anon, i feel like i know you. and because i feel like i know you, i’m going to gently mock you for associating me with tranquility and grace, etc.
let’s reminisce about the time i needed stitches after stepping off a curb.
let’s talk about how i spent all night getting my bracelets caught in my own hair, which is, incidentally, streaked with white house paint. (how? i don’t know. i did not consciously intend to look like an advertisement for the long-lasting effects of drylock.)
what’s that horrible screeching sound, you ask? oh not to worry, it’s just aurora, pretending to be an elk.
much love, cute human.